What shall I say to my Lord, who in His infinite wisdom has not yet made the necessary changes in my own attitude, character and behaviors to remake me in His image?  Shall I be upset, frustrated and interrogative or remain patient, knowing fully that this is indication of His sovereignty and timing?  I must admit, after making the same mistakes repeatedly, for what seems to be a significant piece of my lifetime, I am oft too quick to question God.  My faith is the only avenue through which I may please God.  Remaining steadfast in my position, untenable as it may appear, provides the only evidence that I am in fact completely dependent upon God’s trans formative Hand to sanctify my soul.  I know my weakness, without Him, I will never grow and change to resemble Christ.  This fact is the only thought which keeps me on the road to patient understanding.

What then may I do with this set of continual and repeated failures or repetitive behaviors?  All I can do is repent and pray, because try as I might, these issues will not be removed through my own mastery or injection of superior self-help skills.  Father, the things that have happened have marred my memory, producing deep seated scars, wounds and memories that I fear are impossible for me to ever dissolve.  What anger I see in my life today remains from past wounds, for today I am not suffering the constant and necessary pressures that made of me an angry man.  What slander I speak, I learned, through emulation of an acidic culture, determined to minimize the import and perfection of each person to God.  What callous nature I possess, I was taught, as a reflection of helplessness and lack of control forced upon my predecessors.  I am by origin and nature a sinner, holding on to the original transgression, but this is not the sum total of my calamity.  I have also been spotted by the brutal, divisive and pejorative nature of this fallen world.  Praise be to God that He sees me cleansed, for though I feel polluted, He only sees Christ’s Perfect Spirit covering my impurity and unrighteousness.  But I pray, wait and seek sanctification, so that I may be eternally free of my own poisonous past.

Lord God, free me of these remaining worldly characteristics.  Please let me be like Christ, no longer resorting to hurtful, dysfunctional or spiteful actions in order to control those around me.  I do not wish to be harsh, but gentile.  I do not wish to be violent but a peace maker.  I do not wish to sponsor sarcasm and slander, rather dispensing words of encouragement and hope.  Let me fill the sails of those who have been caught in continual doldrums.  Let me express love, the love You showed me, forgetting all their imperfections, gazing instead upon their majesty and importance in Your eyes.  Please let that old man and his fleshly tendencies to finally and completely perish.  Jesus my King, save me from my self and those things I have learned, seen and heard from a fallen world.