It there were an award for the amount of times you have either failed or been told that you failed, I certainly should be a contender.  Each day, I seem to fall short of what I should be doing for God, My Wife, My Family, My Friends, The Church, My Country and a host of others to whom I have a duty of sufficiency.  Lord, you have seen me struggle to change in my own “newest resolution” and fall flat on my face the first opportunity in which it becomes necessary to exhibit patience, gentleness or other spiritual fruits.  I just thank everyone I know for being so patient, gentle and kind with me in allowing me to continually fail at every attempt.

But still God loves me, I don’t how, why or even if it makes any sense at all, I just know that He does.  If God can love a screw up like me, walking with me in patience through my repetitive slew of failures then He ought have no difficulty in loving you.  We must have hope, not in ourselves, for my behavior and scorecard demonstrate the foolishness in that idea.  We must have hope in Him, waiting, crying, failing and screaming at times,  but always somehow knowing in the back of our dilemma, that God is quietly at work.  I have lost hope in my ability to grow my way out of my own problems, but He has never once left me there in my ridiculousness.  He has always brought me the next person, experience, job or thought with just the right information, energy or provocation to get me to the next step.  I don’t know how He does it, but somehow He manages to drag me to the next destination or draw me there with shiny objects.

Father, I apologize for my screw ups that have shamed you in any way or hurt anyone, especially those I love dearly.  I wish that I were a finished product, but alas, we both know that just is not going happen this side of paradise.  Father forgive me for hurting those around me.  Teach me to be more gentle, especially those who do not need the impetus of a ton of buffalo chasing them around.  I know that I will not learn until You teach, I just pray You find the time to teach me and that time is soon, because I am certain my friends and family are ready for the buffalo to depart.  Walk with me Father, hold my hand because so often I do just because I do not know what to do, so I just do something.  Guide me to the understanding and patience to be a much better husband to my wife and a Brother and Friend to those around me.  In Your Name I pray Lord Jesus.