The pain available for consumption in this wretched old world is too much for me.  Lord is nothing Holy, nothing sacred, sacrosanct or treasured anymore?  Must all be trampled underfoot or reduced to grime and ashes?  We see word twisters, and faith changers pushing ideas designed to trap simple folks in an indecent quest for “identity”.  The caps, boundaries, laws and guidelines have either been torn down, forgotten, ignored or corrupted so that all contemptible pleasure is permissible if done in the name of self expression or actualization.  The pinnacle of human resolve has been reduced to things of low character, golden trinkets and burnished medallions of lowly character and dismay.  Our children follow heroes who threaten, burn, kill and mutilate the innocent, counting themselves wealthy for ill gotten gain.  I will not mourn this world when you remake it, I shall not miss them, but for now I will bask in the remaining light of Your Glorious Spirit bidding make disciples of men, leading them away from the precipice.

Father, I long to spend time just being with You.  Just breathing, listening, watching and following every gesture, each word.  The gum has lost its flavor and though I have not lost my salt, I wish that the dish were finished.  Father, how long must the weak, orphaned, sick, hungry, thirsty, miserable and dying suffer their misfortune?  Will You not set them free and avenge their travesty, soon?  Forgive me for asking Father, but will I ever have that kind of patience?  The kind that You seem capable to displaying for millennia upon millennia, piled up through the ages.  What have we done that could make You wish to wait out our folly?  I pray to have a heart that sees us worthy in the end, for now I see nothing but disobedience, mockery and self concern.  Will I resemble Your Son enough to be recognized as Your child or must I continue to dissatisfy?  Frankly I am bored with my attempts at measuring up for they always fall short, even my grandest and most well thought efforts.  This thing, salvation, must be Your work for my own will forever be inadequate to this tasking.  Praise and bless Your Holy Name that it is Your design and not mine.

This world does not impress me, but You love it so and that is all that matters.  I love people in those moments when I see Your face kindled in their eyes, when their hearts reach out to the needy for the asking.  They may forget me, sometimes I wish that they would so that I might rest.  But Father, let anything that I do remind them so that they never forget You for even one moment.  My legacy is the child who needed love and encouragement and I happened to be there by Your Good graces to pick him up and send him on his way.  My victory is hearing the name of Jesus upon the lips of a young women we all thought lost forever to wickedness, deceit and foreign plunder.  My agony those lost to false teaching’s siren, leading them away from freedom and eternity.  Grant me those people who might be saved by our collective ministry, that I might someday look upon their faces in your presence, knowing I had some small part in making You smile.