They would have me look to my failures as a measure of this life lived.  That is not how God looks upon each of us.  If He looks upon me, with perfect knowledge of every thought, every dance, every excess and victory and still loves me, then why should my failures matter one iota?  There are none that may proclaim themselves a more harsh critic of my performance than me.  Just as Paul lamented his continued sinning even when he knew the right thing to do, I cannot believe some times the thoughts and actions I still find myself undertaking.  Glory be to God that it is His prerogative to allow me into heaven, because if it were up to me I certainly would never be found worthy.  I am so sad for the failures that have caused harm to others or brought dishonor to God’s Holy Name.  For them I am truly sorry and ask God’s forgiveness.

I do not belong to this world, to the enemy or to false idols, I have been set apart for God by my belief in Jesus Christ the Son of God.  That does not allow me special exception to sin as I please, precisely the opposite, it means that I should know better having been freed by sacrifice.  It does however allow me some measure of confidence in the knowledge that God knows I am going to continue to sin and has provisioned Grace sufficient to cover my future sins.  I hope they are not as immeasurable as I’ve imagined them.  Can you imagine what it would be like to be saved by Grace and then be committed to living a life of perfection when all you’ve known in continual mess up?  Thank God He knows us better than we know ourselves and has provided His Holy Spirit as Counselor, Guide and Teacher to show us the way to sanctification and holiness.

The Lord has shown me that the price of my sensitivity is an open, tender and vulnerable heart.  Today I learned how cruel others may be when they feel the pressures to change and I am the obvious target of their rage as I seek to help them traverse the divide.  My tears are medals showing the price of my humanity, and the wounds I suffer now only bring me closer to the Almighty.  They do not know what they are doing, often they are defense mechanisms brought to bare from childhood to protect themselves from the brutal hazards of youth.  If I may navigate my way passed these defenses by help of the Holy Spirit then I may be granted the opportunity to plant a seed of God’s Loving and reviving Word.  Some times the battle is not simply fought for protection of the city it is undertaken for the sake of doing something right.  In my case I do not seek to drive back enemies but to win the right to plant crops for God’s Harvest.  Thank you for the work Father.  There is so much to be done, I pray for more workers for the harvest, dear, dear Lord.  In Jesus Name.