I would love to be counted among the blameless. This knowledge that I continue to sin no matter how hard I try makes it painstakingly transparent, that if I am ever going to be holy it is not going to be of my own doing. Perhaps there will be a day where I commit no sin, but I have yet to see one and I am not courageous to pluck out that sinful eye. The one that always gets me is thought. No matter how well I police my own actions, behaviors and words I still have thoughts that often I am surprised came from my own soul. This understanding has gone beyond the initial frustration, discomfort and helplessness as I realized these things were beyond me and now turned into surrender and reliance. The Lord is the only one who can change me, cleanse me, transform me into something that even slightly resembles Him. Of my own works I will never be Holy.
That is a damning and a freeing thought all at once. I weep when I see my sin, but I rejoice in the promises of God which say that He is faithful to complete the work He has begun in me. I wrestle with my salvation in fear and trembling, knowing God is Holy, Righteous and Resolute. He will do all that He said He will, including turning His face from those whom He never knew. That moment in history frightens me for all of us. When Jesus walks away from the self-righteous who thought themselves saved but never truly believed, that will break my heart. I pray that my tiny mustard seed of faith will let Him look upon me with those eyes of fire and purge me of all unrighteousness, because I don’t about anyone else but I tire of my own ridiculous propensities. I am simply amazed that He could love a man like me.
I see the churches that are obviously gone astray and I pray that they hear Jesus knocking upon the door of their church and open up the door so that Jesus may come in and sup with them. I pray that any vestiges of self-righteousness in my own heart not be used to lead even one person away from God. I pray that together we embrace the Word of God and become doers of that Word not just reviewers. This is the hour of our calamity or our Collective Grace in Jesus. May we know ourselves and surrender to the Potter’s Hand. In Jesus I find my purpose and place in this world and the next. Amen to God the Father for being Faithful and True.