If it is kept in the back of your mind it kind of feels like you’re keeping it from everyone doesn’t it?  If you don’t talk about it and perhaps sequester yourself from your friends and family are you able to convince yourself that no one really knows what is going in secrecy?  Are you so good at obfuscation that you can hide it all away and go to work acting like nothing has changed, everything is just fine?  How do you deal with God?  You know that He knows every thing.  How do you handle that fact, how do you keep it all neat and tidy, carefully concealed from the eyes of Almighty God?  You can’t, that is why you end up creating distance between you and the Lord in your halfhearted attempts.  What’s worse is that He knew “ALL” the information before time even began having seen every word, sin, movement and secret.  So now I know what it feels like to be Adam and Eve hiding from God, in our nakedness, ashamed in the Garden, frightened of the discipline we know soon will be coming.

I am tired of running from God.  I am tired of bringing discipline upon myself when all that really needed to happen was that I had to bring my sin under the covering and control of the Holy Spirit.  You see, I do not have to sin, but I still do and each time I mourn the loss of intimacy with the Father.  Each time I shed tears for the distance created between us.  And each time I pray for the strength and discernment to not make the same foolish mistake depriving me of closeness to God.

Lord, I should love you more than any thing else yet I still in my weakest moments put other gods on pedestals and turn my face and faith from Your Majesty.  I am sorry for my spiritual adultery.  Teach me to balance the things of work, family and faith in a way that is consistent with Your Plan for my Life.  Let me not miss a single opportunity to recognize Your Grace and Glory, giving you credit for everything that is Righteous and Good.  I see great men and women of the Bible, but like me each one of them had their Achilles heal causing them moments if not great periods of God’s disciplinary action.  Why is that always the case.  Couldn’t someone be obedient?  Couldn’t for example it be me who decided to do what God wanted of me at every juncture, fixing my eyes upon His Glory and dutifully and diligently serving His intention?  There was one, the God Man, leaving us an example, commanding us to be like Him.  Lord teach me the path to being like Jesus.  Give me faith to believe that something that grand is possible.

There are those who still want to be righteous.  Even now we see them awaking.  Awakened by the sudden revelation of evil taking over, they are appalled and have begun to ask conscious questions about the Almighty.  Waking out of coma they first inquire where they are and how they have arrived there.  Their past a fog with little dancing wraiths frolicking on for hours on end.  They want to believe that A God so real exists for the sole purpose of Glory but they are so afraid to be looked upon by the world, as fools.  Yes, I tell them the world will revile you, as they must, hating the Lord of Lords for His Righteousness and denying His authority to judge this World’s Sin.  You know that is what it is all about, their hatred of Jesus, that is?  It is the fact that He had the audacity to claim that He alone will judge this Universe after providing redemption for those who would freely accept it.  They cannot imagine a God with enough power to create them and then determine that the sum total of that creation’s worth is up to His determination.  They define God against His Commandments so He will return the same as judgment.  You see Jesus will judge this world whether or not I believe that He has the authority to do so.  It is just that some of us do not choose to serve futility.

Praise Him for His Righteousness and Truth, because He is right you know.  We all can see the fact that what Jesus described is the best way for a man to live this life and set up eternity for himself in the next.  I love people.  I feel for them in their attempts to challenge, deny, run from and develop a better explanation than the truth.  They do not want to admit that they were the son or daughter of an angry alcoholic, that they aren’t pretty, rich and popular, that dreams do grow on trees like gumdrops, but that just ain’t reality.  You may wish that you were in charge, but thank God that you aren’t.  God is in charge, He created it, He rules it and He decides who is deserving of an extra helping of blessings or another life spent in eternity with Him in Glory.  He has shown us the way to follow Him, but we must choose to walk the path.