Had enough.  Of the social manipulation, pitting one group against another to deflect focus.  Enough of the wannabees and the have not’s, being bated by the envy as they are told the only way out is to take what the haves have got.  Weak commitments, nothing worth wagering everything, taking a stand unless its for a moment of glory where I can be immortalized for bad behavior.  The easy way out is all that anyone has the courage to pursue.  Wherever the water flows, the gang leads or the money sprouts is what we’re choosing.  Aligning with daydreams to stave off the nightmares, romancing about the undead or the invincible, because anything has to be better than just plain living.

When did we give up so completely?  Acquiescing to the liars and usurpers, trading anything good for a taste of what everyone says is important.  None of it has been worth the trade but we keep on betting, all in, for a piece of a charade that hasn’t helped one single soul.  We see the madness, the sadness and the unfulfillment of saint and sinner alike but we cannot seem to see past the advertisement.  I bought it and rather than bring it back I have to play it out, suffering from a case of buyer’s remorse that strips all that is good from the experience.  Must we accept the band aid, or perhaps can we see our way to bravely accepting the cure?

This world deals in moments, flashes, flares and fizzles.  There is no everlasting, though girls are sold the dream of happily ever after and guys immortalized in self sustaining glory.  Why don’t they want to tell you that pain is a wonderful part of being alive, that learning and discipline are expected variables in this equation of life.  No memory can sustain man.  Sure vengeance, revenge and quests for recaptured instants, may produce drive for satisfaction, but none of it is real living.  Why are we all so uniquely different?  Why is happiness self-defined, self maintained and self perpetuated if we all quest for the package full of buzz words, that we are sold by each new multimedia muse?  How can that be that we are so different yet the obtaining the same dream will bring each of the happiness that is so uniquely defined by each of in singularity?  It doesn’t make sense, just as the feeling in my chest that I know God is watching and yet they say I must deny Him in order to achieve liberality of thought and action.  There is no freedom without God.  No freedom from the massive hypnosis that beckons us to follow lemmings in to Hades.

Enough of this dream.  I want to wake in the arms of God, learning the answers to puzzles my mind has pondered for a lifetime.  Enough of the guessing the worrying the wishing and capitulation, complicity and complacence.  The is the test and it is enough, because this is where He sent me to be prepared for our meeting.  But when I have had enough schooling I will be released to truly live and enjoy that which is truly enough, The Lord My Jesus, the Christ of God.  The end and beginning of all things.  Enough choice, enough voice, enough tears and what is left is pure, kind, gentle and full of hope and love.  I feel as if I have had enough but even that is folly, for I am not in charge.  My life is not my own and I am unwilling as many others to fool myself in to thinking that somehow that this is my plan.  This life is lived for Him, by Him and through Him, for the realization of His everlasting Glory and my seat of in the congregation at the foot of His throne among the beloved of God.  I am surrendered to a Will greater than my own and that is enough for me.