Adding the suffix -ness to the word helpless does not even begin to measure the height of my fear or the deaths of incapacity.  My only succor, the observation of Shakespearean performances by everyone around me attempting to camouflage their own brand of personal terror.  Oh, I wish to give up fear, for it inhibits, prohibits and places limits upon my worship, fellowship and kinship with the Lord.  Yes, I do feel palsied, incapable and frankly insufficient to the tasks before me and those are precisely the correct motivating emotions I am meant to experience.  All this world is designed to chase me to the shelter, assistance, strength and authority found only beneath the shadow of God.

Great things we shall do.  Not because we somehow overcame the personal obstacles designed to shackle us to mediocrity or scatter us from crushing potential for success.  We will speak words that will shatter the resolve of mortal kings, freeze molten courage in warrior’s hearts and waken the implacable will of slumbering parishioners, because they are from the mouth of God.  We will stand and recover from the overwhelming forces of storm, explosion or battle, not because we are well prepared but because we are armored in the Lord Jesus Christ who made all these things.  Adamantium hearts will dispel the effect of illusionary fear through indwelling of His Eternal Spirit.  For my persistence is not based upon my own definition of happiness or shame, but upon the Promises of God upon which everything is defined, outlasted and overcome.

I forgive you Adam, as I must offer myself the same grace when seeing my own failure in perpetuity.  I am you Eve, in my quest to somehow place myself upon God’s throne rather than simply obey.  You came to me God because I could never save myself and in so doing showed this world the meaning of true love through sacrifice.  We have all gone astray in our belief that anything other than God may overcome this life.  I will have no other gods before thee Lord.  You are my abundance, my joy, my help, my sword, breastplate and shield.  I will never yield, confident of victory not by my own faculties of brilliance, strength or courage.  I will overcome through the Blood of the Lamb, my testimony of how His Spirit saved and sealed me for eternity and my steadfast love for God through Christ.  Where I end He begins, somewhere inside of me there is a point of origin which has no end, that moment when I was born anew to be with God.

Praise Him for His infinite patience, Grace and Glory.  Amen.