I got on my knees today to pray for peace in Jerusalem, but then I remembered something I needed and my devotion abruptly quit.  I prepared my ramparts and then considered the danger unlikely so I reclined in shade with tilted glass.  I implored the Lord to bring my friend to salvation and was immediately pestered by thoughts of self, filled with worry regarding my individual power and plans.  I gave of my blessings unselfishly and as I received return praise I quipped insincerely how it should be given to the Lord.  I glorified the name of the Lord and after several minutes my stomach called me to gastric idolatry.  I accepted the things I’ve been given and mused about the car, house and lavish finances my lost neighbor freely brandishes.  I read the Bible for an hour and recanted, through memory how much of it I possessed to the splendor of my audience.  I dreamed of things to come and then remained upon my couch preferring to entertain my leisure rather than go and usher in change.  My glory was achieved, my holiness hollow and the biggest clue is I just couldn’t get rid of that nagging injury, but the guilt subsided until eventually my conscience offered naught but seared silence.  The enemy has found his way into my faith through lack of vigilance and battle preparedness on my part.

No matter how much I love my Brothers they still can’t seem to understand my failures, thinking me somehow above sin, shallowness and frailty.  Maybe, that is the picture I have framed for them.  I pray that all forgive me for that lie possesses no fragment of truth.  Father, You know me.  Your fulfilled will is my greatest gain.  Your lost sheep cause me tears.  Where is peace without You?  Give to me an obedient heart.  Teach me to understand my allocated gifts and how to effectively use them for Your glory and service.  Take away all residue of previous habitual wickedness.  Please never turn me loose to my own designs.  Educate me in love, patience and self control so that I may effect change.  Let me praise, admire and glorify nothing but Your Holy Name.  Strengthen us for the great days on the horizon.  Prepare me for battle and lead me early to the line of embarkation so that I may scan the skies for Your enemies.  Thank you for entrusting me with any of Your Holiness, Righteousness and Truth.  Through You I will be made worthy of such grace.  Father bless Your Holy and Mighty Name.  Thank you Jesus.