Oh look at the lights and the handsome faces of expectation waiting to shower us with flower petals, words of praise and accomplishment.  How sturdily we sit upon our horses as our procession enters the city center.  I wonder what nickname they will give me to reflect the gravity of my weighty victory.

In shame I slink to my knees.  Father, forgive me I whisper through heavy breath and tears bigger than crocodiles’.  How could You think of sending me for any task greater than removing the tiles from a dilapidated laundry?  What skills do I have, what heart do I possess?  My faith is tattered, my clothes dingy and my mind full of pestilence and refuge.  How can I even pronounce Your great name with this mouth so adept at carving up the innocent or unsuspecting?  You made me for glory and I have never reflected one spark of Your infinite light.  The enemy screams of my failures and all I can do in defense is cry, accepting his argument.  I know that I am not worthy nor have I done anything that makes me worthy of Your precious grace and sacrifice.  If I am to become anything it is through Your doing, not mine.

Lord, King, maker of me.  I know what this world would have me be.  I cannot accept that and also believe all the wonderful things You think of me, expect of me and want for me.  There is no intersection of these philosophies, no union, no companionship.  You made me to turn away from the glittering guile.  All that it has ever given me is pain, why then do I even contemplate its promises?  Make of me what You will.  I am not a tool shaped for the hands of the master of this world but of the Creator of every world.  You are my God and I am a servant who will conquer what must be taken, love what I am told to love and dream of the day when I will find significance just sitting in Your presence.  Til then I hope, fight and pray to forget my mistakes and build upon Your victories.  Grace and blessings upon Your mighty name.  Everything is Yours.  I love you Jesus.